For the past few days, I have encountered many problems that I have no clue how to answer. Although I have worked here for almost 4 years now, there are still issues that I cannot resolve. And it has been like that for the past 2 days. I am so challenged! I have to research most of the calls I got, although some of them are really easy. I feel a little bit tingle when I feel a little bit annoyed when I am working on something and the phone keeps on ringing. I feel scared when the client is asking me something and there is nothing I can say but "may I call you right back while I research on this issue?" I want to feel that I know every answer to every question. But ever since I started working here, I always get scared that I wouldn't know how to answer their questions.
However scared I am, there are 4 things that happen everyday: A solution is found for the problem; a denial to something impossible is done, problems are resolved, and tickets get closed. No tickets last for more than 3 days unless requested. Problems come and they get resolved.
Working here made me realize many things. It made me realize that "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13. When I know I don't know the solution, I muttered a prayer to the Lord and asked for guidance. He enlightens me. I can't count the times when solutions just pop out my head and voila, the problem is resolved. It makes me very happy knowing that God is guiding me even in the little things. My hand is also quick to go to www.google.com and find something. I then end up learning something new! Praise the Lord! Sometimes, things don't work for client. Then I would log in to their computers and suddenly things worked. Talking about miracles!!! They call me magic but I didn't do anything. All I know is that God is with me and He is for me. I see miracles everyday and I am so grateful.
God has so molded me in this place. He has refined me (still refining me). He has made me fearless. I used to be so scared but I learned to put my foot down when I know that there is no solution. I learned to be confident in what I say and do. I learned to be more patient (from facing difficult people everyday). I learned how to handle pressure and tons of work. Also, God gave me back the talent in teaching (I so long for this and I totally repented for not using it before as much as God wants me to.). I love my job. I grew in this place so much. I am grateful.
Now, I think about the missionaries. I dream to be a missionary in a place where the Gospel has not been preached. I wonder how the lives of the missionaries are. I am so astonished to see how God does miracles everyday. How I long to see that too! I think of them and I wonder if life is easy for them. Actually, their lives are quite the contrary. They also cry. They also feel lonely. They face new problems everyday. They face pain everyday. I wonder how they would handle it. I wonder how they can steal away for time of prayer when everything is in topsy turvy. I wonder how money come to their aid. Most of them started from nothing. But now, God poured out provision to them and has used them tremendously. Some of the missionaries that I really admire are: Amy Carmichael, Hudson Taylor, Katie Davis (http://www.amazima.org/), Danita Estrella (http://www.danitaschildren.org/), Karris Hudson (assistant of Danita - story http://www.setapartgirl.com/article-SEPT-socl.html), Corrie Ten Boom, and Mother Theresa. I heard of their stories and I admired how they gave up their all for the Lord. For me, they are the strongest, bravest, most courageous and most selfless. I desire the same thing. I know that it is not an easy road but I know that God has placed this desire in my heart for a reason. I know He has called me and I want to be willing to be used by Him.
I love my job. It has been my current mission field and I have witnessed people coming to the Lord and it is amazing. God has currently called me to be single and embrace this season of purification and preparation as He equip me for the greater plans He has for me. I am very excited. I know there are still more things that I need to give up: friends, family, I don't know. All I know is that, I am His. I know that there will be many who will not agree with me. Many will try to stop me. I pray that this will mark a day wherein one day, I can look back and say, "God is so faithful" as I look back at how He has molded and equipped me for this calling. I pray that He will have an unhindered authority in my life. And yes, not even myself and my own desires and dreams.
To that day, I look forward. For today, I rejoice, grow, and fall more and more in love with my Savior.
"One Treasure. One Eye. One sole Master." - Jim Elliot
"My food is to do the will of my Father who sent me." John 4:34
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