"My life is but a weaving, betwixt the Lord and me, I do not choose the color --He worketh steadily. He weaveth sorrow and I in foolish pride, Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside. Not tilll the loom is silent, and the shuttle cease to fly, shall God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why. The dark threads are as needful in the Weaver's skillful hand as the threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned." 

(Grant Colfox Tullar)

"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him."

2 Chronicles 16:9

I just want to share the wisdom that God has shared to me yesterday:

Waiting might be hard. However, it is not the result that we are after. When we wait, we discover God's dream and God's will. And most of all, we get to know Him, His ways, and His heart. That is much more precious than the result. The result may be forgotten as life goes on but our relationship with Him and our knowledge of Him will never vanish.

We ought not to compromise to keep a man because the man who's worth it won't need you to compromise for him to stay.

You can do so much in life but without God, you are nothing. Without God, it will all just be a heavy load. But with God, He gives you the power and grace to do what He has called you to do.

This world is harsh. Thank God I don't belong here. This is not, this is not my home.

The best thing about following God's will is that HE IS THERE. That is more than enough. Would we want to be away from Him? Wouldn't we rather be with Him? The truth is, He is all we need.

Does everything we do build His kingdom or build the kingdom for ourselves? Or perhaps lets me rephrase it: Are we building on the Kingdom that cannot be shaken and destroyed? Or are we building on the kingdom that can?

Charles Spurgeon on Obedience

"You are God’s creature, and yet you have rendered to Him no obedience! You would
not keep a horse or a dog that did not do you some service, or follow at your whistle."

“Sir,” said the Duke of Wellington to an officer of engineers, who urged the
impossibility of executing the directions he had received, “I did not ask your opinion,
I gave you my orders, and I expect them to be obeyed.” Such should be the obedience
of every follower of Jesus. The words which he has spoken are our law, not our
judgments or fancies. Even if death were in the way it is—

“Not ours to reason why—
Ours, but to dare and die;”

"That obedience which is not voluntary is disobedience, for the Lord looketh at the
heart, and if He seeth that we serve Him from force, and not because we love Him,
He will reject our offering."

"Some Christians are very curious, but not obedient. Plain precepts are neglected,
but difficult problems they seek to solve."

"Do what the Lord bids you, where he bids you, as he bids you, as long as he bids you,
and do it at once."

"Love is the chief jewel in the bracelet of obedience."

"Obedience rendered without delight in rendering it is only half obedience."

"It seems to me that half the beauty of obedience consists in obeying the command at
once."

"Which is the best servant—the man who must always have his orders written for
him every morning, and who at night excuses himself for the neglect of many an
obvious duty because, as he says, “It was not down on the paper, sir; I have followed
your instructions,”—is he the better servant, or the other man who thinks, after he
has obeyed his orders, “What ought I to do for my master? Is there not this thing, or
that thing which, though it may not be absolutely recorded or written down, yet is
intended in the spirit of my instructions?” Do you not love the child who looks out for
occasions and opportunities to please you? Do you not feel a satisfaction in accepting
from a friend a kindness which may be almost unexpected, and which manifests to
you that he must have been thinking about you, and has, perhaps, lain awake all
night to consider how he could gratify or serve you? You feel that this is sincere
friendship. So is it with your service for God."

"No man is really saved unless he is in his heart obedient to Christ."

"Obedience is one of the lessons of wisdom which this age needs to learn, for
everybody must be master or mistress nowadays. We all desire to rule, and we all feel
that we could do it far better than the present leaders are doing it."

My World is Brighter Because of You

Facing the window as the gentle snow falls down from the sky. How beautiful! What a beautiful moment to reflect and write... How God loves details!

For the past 7 years, I remembered crying every birthday. For some reason, there are reasons that just makes me cry. Maybe for one, I was away from my family. Second, there were expectations that didn't materialize. This year, I said, it will be the best birthday ever. So I took the chance to just stay at home and spend some time with the Lord. It has been beautiful. I coulnd't help but cry as I can feel His love towards my life.

A week ago, I was thinking about my birthday and how I wanted it to be. Do I really know what will make me happy? The truth is, I really don't. So I reflected on my life and how it was for the past year and the past month. Life is good. REALLY really good! I can say that this has been the BEST season of my life. I am really happy and at times I couldn't explain my happiness. I am happy not because everything is doing just fine. I am happy not because I have everything I want. Actually it's quite the contrary. Everything is not doing smoothly as the world may describe it and I don't have everything I want.

But you know something, life doesn't have to be smooth and easy for one to be happy. The quality of life and our joy doesn't depend upon that.

As the years go by, I have learned that in this life, nothing will ever be "perfect". Nothing in this world will last forever. No one will always be good to you. Nothing will ALWAYS go the way you want it to go. One of the things that matter in this life is who we are really and whose we are. Then our perspective depends on that.

As I reflect in my life and just thinking how happy I am, I wouldn't be who I am now without the people that has become a part of my life. So I just want to take this opportunity to write a tribute to each of you. I am very grateful to God for EVERYTHING He has given me including the gift of YOU in my life - those who love me and hurt me. Without you, I wouldn't be who I am now and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now.

I thank you for your time. I thank you for sharing what you have. I thank you for every kind and harsh word. I thank you for sharing a part of you to me. I thank you for wiping my tears and I thank you for making me cry. I thank you for your encouragement and I thank you for the hurtful words. I thank you for prayers and I thank you for persecutions. I thank you because through all these, I was challenged and then I was drawn closer to Jesus more and more. I thank you for the hurtful words and actions because through these, I am cleansed by my own selfishness and immaturity and therefore all those things that can be shaken has been removed and I was drawn to death of SELF and drawn closer to life in Christ. Thank you very much!

I thank you for all those who love me. You made me feel very special. You made me see that there is hope in life, that God's love is still present in this world. You are also very special to me. and I treasure you for the rest of my life.

I really thank you for making a big difference in my life. To each of you, I pray that God will bless you even more! He is faithful and trustworthy. He is who He says He is!

I have the best birthday ever! Praise God!

God bless you!

His Faithfulness Alive: Dream Once Again

A big part of my life is gone. Such a loss broke my heart. My dreams were shattered. I was in tears for weeks and months. I knew I made the right decision to leave it behind for God. I knew I had to give it up. But why does it have to hurt so bad? Why does it have to linger for months and months? Can the pain just disappear and may I at least feel that I am happy I made that decision? Why do I have to hurt this much? I didn't ask those questions literally but most days I would cry out saying, "It is so hard, Lord!" Although it wasn't as hard as before, it was still hard. There were nights that I fear tomorrow. There were days when my heart was gripped with fear for what is going to happen.

BUT God...

God is faithful! His grace sustained me when I was at my weakest! Although I felt pain and fear, I never gave up. I never felt any regret! Then, God has brought people in my life to encourage me and  give me hope. God brought people into my life to stand by me in prayer without them knowing everything I was going through. God brought situations that brought me more to Him. People around me didn't even know what I was going through but they spoke to me in ways that really encouraged me. I knew that was God in them. I knew that this is for God and although it hurt so much, I didn't want God to take it out of my life. Rather, I wanted Him to take me through the journey of healing and restoration and getting out of it is not the way - as He taught. I remember one day I was in the train, I told God, "Lord, I wanted to go through this with You. I wanted to take this path until we reach the end of the tunnel." There is a light that glimmers at the end of the tunnel. and although it is far, we will get there some day. For now (then), I will travel this tunnel with Him. It wasn't easy but I tell you, it is WORTH it.

So daily, God showed His mercy. He showed His faithfulness through little things. He has brought so many things into my life including more opportunities to reach out to people. I will list them here:

1. By September, God gave me the opportunity to tutor Rose Anne, an eight year old girl who is having difficulty with school. I was hesitant at first and I was also scared. But in my mind, this will be a good opportunity to reach the family for Jesus Christ. But you know what? I am more blessed to be there! First, God has restored my gift of teaching. (That is another story.) Second, they feed me there a lot! Everytime I go there, they feed me with home-cooked food. God is restoring my health! They also give me a lot of food to take home. I am gaining weight! Third, He gave the heart and love for children. How I love them and how I daily see their preciousness and delight! It is beautiful. Fourth, I was blessed with a car to use. Her mom lend me the car so I can go to their house easily and leave anytime. I have a car now without having to pay for it and for its insurance. Then I get to practice driving. God is restoring my skill. Then I get to go to work during holidays and go to church even if I am alone. I can go to stores if I need to. Talking about God answering your needs that you don't even know about. Fourth, I get to build relationships with other children and other people. Fifth, they showered me with so much love, especially Rose Anne. Everytime I am with her, I forget everything I am going through. I am so loved. I am so blessed. This is only the beginning. The best is yet to come!

2. September was by the best month of my life before December came. Friendships were restored and new friendships came into my life. Friendships became so precious to me. Friendships became deeper and more meaningful. I treasure it more and more. I never knew how much I have missed in this life when I was squandering my life in bondage. I can say there is really so much more to life. We don't have to live in the dark. There is life! I met a lot of new people that really touched my life and I still keep in touch with them.

3. God brought me to places. I went to CEF - Explore Weekend in October for free. I met a dear sister in Christ. I treasure that too! That was a wonderful time of revelation and refreshment. I have seen God in there. That was just a start. Last month, God faithfully showed again. I registered for the classes with CEF. God is really moving. The money I got from tutoring (you see!) I used to pay for the registration and the books! I am very excited. God has given me more opportunities to reach the community with the Gospel. Tune in the next months!

4. Children's ministry. Yes. I will be serving with the Pre-k in Church. It is official now. Another blessing with having a car! How awesome!

5. Teaching. Teaching. Teaching. Teaching at work and teaching one-on-one. I now go to somebody to teach Microsoft Office. I can practice my skill in teaching and save a little money. Praise God!

6. Entwined Hope. Two months ago, we started a new ministry. Story here
7. More of Jesus. A lot of revelations about Him and from Him. That in itself is trully splendid! No words could ever describe how much of a beauty it is to discover God and His ways...

And more... I have more to say! One day, God spoke:

"But forget all that—
      it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
"For I am about to do something new.
      See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?" Isaiah 43:18-19

Wow! I was wowed by His faithfulness. One day, I found my self dreaming again. That was very memorable. It was fresh and sweet! I dreamt again. Then I surrendered again to His hands.

He promised: "I will never leave you nor forsake." Hebrews 13:5 Yes, He will not. When you say "Yes" to God, He will show you more of Him, more of His power and more of His faithfulness. He will take you to places you have never been before. You will experience Him more. I am not saying that there will be no trials and pain. There will be. But despite all that, there is peace and joy when we look unto Him for everything. There is victory. There is assurance. There is HOPE. God is faithful.

I can say this by experience, He is alive. He is FAITHFUL. He is TRUSTWORTHY. He is POWERFUL.

Take Him by His word. When He says He will do it, He will. When He says He is that, HE IS! No shadows nor doubts. Take it as it is because HE IS WHO SAYS HE IS.

Praise God for healing and restoration. I dream once again...